Hey banning enthusiasts, it’s time to evaluate your priorities. There’s no need to pick on our beautiful books while other monstrosities are free to roam about.
This Banned Books Week let’s redirect our attention to what we all agree could be banned in lieu of books. Then, celebrate your freedom to read!
1. The last slice of pizza
Think of how many friendships could be saved if we ended the fight for the last slice.
2. Netflix streaming issues
It’s called instant streaming for a reason. We have the right to binge watch.
3. Paper cuts
Truly, paper cuts are life’s most pestering injuries.
4. The final season of LOST.
But seriously, why is there a polar bear on the island?
5. Too hot tea
Is it a strange concept to want to drink our tea right when we make it?
6. Waiting a year for the next book in a series
We understand the publishing schedule, but that doesn’t make the agony disappear.
7. Fandom judging
Fictional obsessions should always be encouraged, no matter personal stance on the subject.
8. Burnt popcorn
Microwaves, spite us no longer.
9. Cliffhanger endings
TELL US WHAT HAPPENS. TELL US NOW.
10. Waking up five minutes before your alarm goes off
In which the next 4:59 minutes are spent wishing you read the time wrong.
11. Hold music
We’d also accept a ban on being on hold altogether.
13. Folding fitted sheets
Trying to fold fitted sheets has caused wars in the past. WORLD WARS. Therefore, this should be banned
14. Multiple movies for the last book in a series
We’re looking at you Twilight, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games and Divergent.
What else should be banned instead of books? Tweet us with the hashtag #ThingsThatShouldBeBannedInsteadOfBooks or tell us in the comments below!