Whether you think the morally ambiguous characters filling YA should be on the naughty or nice list, there’s no arguing that some would just be awful to have at your dinner table. Whether they’re too know-it-all, too skilled with the cutlery, or just plain evil, they definitely have the ability to ruin a holiday. So we racked our brains for the characters we would least want at our holiday dinner. Be warned, fellow readers, and don’t invite these characters!
Characters That’d Be Horrible Holiday Guests
THIS SAVAGE SONG by Victoria Schwab
Okay, while we would love to spend the holidays with August, and maybe think Kate would be a little different if she experienced the love of a real family, Sloan is a total no-go. The top Malchai in the Harker empire, this certified creep would probably be plotting our murder while skulking in the shadows of the room. Forget any sort of casserole or bird. With Sloan sitting at your holiday table, you might end up being dinner yourself.
2. Carys and Andreus
DIVIDING EDEN by Joelle Charbonneau
Forget a single awful holiday guest. Inviting both Carys and Andreus into your home would just be asking for disaster. These two siblings start out tighter than you can imagine but turn on each other when the promise of power gets between them. Just imagine your nice, put-together dinner devolving into a food fight with shouting, name calling, and drawn swords on both sides. Sure, it might seem awesome, but we think the thrill would quickly fade.
A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES by Sarah J. Maas
Sure, Tamlin seeeems like he’d be a nice guest, offering to carry your plates for you, putting the food on your dish, maybe even feeding you, even though you’ve said “please Tamlin, I can do this myself,” at least six times. But Tamlin would need to be the most loved and appreciated guest at your holiday dinner and we just can’t commit to that kind of personality. Plus you know he’d lock the doors and refuse to let anyone leave. We want our holidays to be peaceful, full of the people we love and the ones who love us, and his obsessive sort of love just does not fit into our festive vision. Sorry, Tammy. Maybe next year?
THREE DARK CROWNS by Kendare Blake
Where do we even start with this one? Genevieve wouldn’t eat anything on our menu if it wasn’t chock full of poison, and then she’d probably go ahead and throw some toxins in herself. We’d literally all die. But death aside, she’s just really mean and we don’t need that kind of energy at our holiday party. She’s the mean aunt that no one wants to spend time around, and we’re not going to be the ones to suffer. Then again, an uninvited Genevieve might poison the food out of spite…
5. Margo Roth
PAPER TOWNS by John Green
If you invited Margo Roth Spiegelman to a holliday dinner, she would probably quote some record you’ve never heard of, pair it with a nonsensical idiom, and then disappear before you had a chance to ask her about it. We’re not gonna lie though, it might be fun while it lasted. But she’d also be the one that everyone talked about the day after, and that’s not what the holidays are about. Everything at the party would undoubtedly be about Margo—even though she’d deny wanting it to be—and then she’d live up to the hype by inviting everyone on a revenge-fueled adventure instead of bringing a regular present like everyone else. Come on, Margo.
RED QUEEN by Victoria Aveyard
This could go one of two ways. The first one, if Maven hated you, might be the better of the pair. He’d probably demand he be sat at the head of the table, and then sit there and make daunting little requests all night. And then what happens when the requests can’t be filled? Boom, the entire room is set ablaze. But what if Maven loves you? Then he might just ignite anyone else who gives you attention. You’d have to cater the entire night to his whims, and everything you did would be under his watchful eye. And you better hope you got him a present he deems acceptable. Tl;dr, someone will be set on fire at the end of the night no matter how Maven feels.
THREE DARK CROWNS by Kendare Blake
New in ONE DARK THRONE, Nicolas is a character who thrives on chaos. He’s incredibly fun to read, sure, and even moreso when he’s paired up with the darker Katharine, but we would be terrified to see him show up at our houses this holiday season. Nicolas would encourage everyone around him to be on their very worst behavior and then sit back and enjoy the carnage. His snide comments and little suggestions would turn the night on its head, and like we’ve said, we just want peace.
DOROTHY MUST DIE by Danielle Paige
Dorothy would strut into our holiday party in the highest heels—and then proceed to crush every present that isn’t for her under them. Everything is about this HBIC, and that’s just not what the holidays are about. Sorry, D. But knowing this master manipulator she’d probably be able to turn the whole party against us when it didn’t work out in her favor, and for that reason we’d be afraid to even send a pity-invite her way. Where’s Amy Gumm when we need her?!
THE THOUSANDTH FLOOR by Katharine McGee
At first thought, Watt wouldn’t be as horrible of a holiday guest as most of the other characters on this list. But then you realize that he pretty much knows everything about everyone, and suddenly you don’t want to find him sitting at your holiday dinner table when the gossiping starts. He’d spill your worst secrets before you even knew them. Not that he’d mean to ruin the dinner! He would just want everyone else there to like him and, aw, we kind of feel bad. But still not invited.
SHATTER ME by Tahereh Mafi
It’s like, okay, we know Adam, you love Juliette. But you don’t have to come to our holiday party and tell us just how much better for her you are. We’re still not going to believe you. Adam wouldn’t necessarily be the worst possible holiday guest to invite, but we’d much rather see Warner at our party or, actually, we want to see Kenji. We’d even take James! Adam is just a bit of a downer and would experience everything too emotionally. Get him a present? Boom, he loves you. Don’t ask him to sit at the table? He’ll ask why you love Warner. There’s just no winning here.
SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA by Becky Albertalli
We’re just not the biggest fan of blackmailing creeps. Anyone who could emotionally torment our beloved Simon so much does not deserve a spot at our holiday party, and we will never be over what he put our cinnamon roll through. Plus, he’d probably pull us aside and ask us to rig the games so that he ends up with his crush, threatening to ruin our entire party if we can’t pull off the miracle of success. No one needs that. Or him.
THIS DARKNESS MINE by Mindy McGinnis
Invite Sasha Stone to your holiday party and she will sleep with your significant other, punch your sibling in the face, and then jump through a window before you can ask her, “Sasha, what the f#&k?” And keep the knives far away from this one. Seriously, we would not trust her within three feet of our cutlery. Only invite Sasha to your holiday party if you want things to go horribly, horribly, unpredictably wrong, and even then make sure you take precautions. We’re a little scared just thinking about it. Maybe we’d invite some of her friends? They would not invite her.
THE YOUNG ELITES by Marie Lu
It would be cute to invite her and she’d probably show up super well-meaning, but we’d give the night about 20 minutes before it turned into a messy, illusion-filled disaster. You know the first emotional hint would trigger some tragic memory in Adelina’s past and she’d turn on you before she had a chance to think better of it. Everything would get twisted around, people would die, gifts would be ruined—and Adelina would sit there, gripping the table, trying to make it all stop. Maybe we could go back in time and have a nice holiday with her to prevent all this?
GONE by Michael Grant
We can’t think of a single way in which Drake wouldn’t be the worst holiday guest. Ever. He’s a murderous, maniacal, power thirsty mutant. On top of all that – he’s literally IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of (so if you make the mistake of inviting him once – you’re pretty much done for.) Plus, can we just admit we find that tentacle arm thing totally creepy? There’s no one you could possibly seat him next to that wouldn’t end in disaster (and by disaster we mean catastrophic, mutilation and/or death).
Which characters would you hate to see show up at your holiday? Let us know below!