This Is What It Feels Like

This tender story of friendship, music, and ferocious love asks: what will you fight for, if not yourself? You Don’t Know Me But I Know You author Rebecca Barrow’s next book is perfect for fans of Katie Cotugno and Emery Lord.

Who cares that the prize for the Sun City Originals contest is fifteen grand? Not Dia, that’s for sure. Because Dia knows that without a band, she hasn’t got a shot at winning. Because ever since Hanna’s drinking took over her life, Dia and Jules haven’t been in it. And because ever since Hanna left—well, there hasn’t been a band.

It used to be the three of them, Dia, Jules, and Hanna, messing around and making music and planning for the future. But that was then, and this is now—and now means a baby, a failed relationship, a stint in rehab, all kinds of off beats that have interrupted the rhythm of their friendship.

But like the lyrics of a song you used to play on repeat, there’s no forgetting a best friend. And for Dia, Jules, and Hanna, this impossible challenge—to ignore the past, in order to jump start the future—will only become possible if they finally make peace with the girls they once were, and the girls they are finally letting themselves be.

But with old wounds and new secrets, can their friendship survive the pressure of the stage?

• Second Chance Friendship: Dia, Jules, and Hanna used to be everything to each other. Now, they’re practically strangers with a painful history. Can the music that once united them heal the wounds that tore them apart?
• Music & Band Fiction: Feel the energy of frantic rehearsals in a hot garage, the thrill of writing the perfect lyric, and the terror of stepping on stage when everything is on the line.
• Heavy YA Topics: This unflinching story tackles the realities of teen motherhood, the difficult path to sobriety, and the lingering ache of grief with honesty and heart.
• Slow Burn Teen Romance: Between band practice and balancing life as a young mom, Dia finds herself drawn to a boy who sees her for who she is. But is she ready to risk her heart again after losing so much?